i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
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