i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize