So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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