It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
this is an emotional support booty call
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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