and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Randomize
