He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Randomize
