K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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