it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
