3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
