Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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