Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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