I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
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