i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
