Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
a search helicopter?!
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
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