I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
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