Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
