You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
