And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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