Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
