No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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