Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Randomize
