I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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