Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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