next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
