Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
