I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
just tell him i said nine months
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
