babies were throwing up all over the place
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize