We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
i think i just lost a toe
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
