Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
