i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
