He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
