I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I wear drunk well.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
