one might say we're banned from that church
only if we run a train.
done.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
