Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
