If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
