their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Randomize
