Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
soo... how was my night?
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