Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
I wish I could teleport
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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