well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
