she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Randomize
