I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
