She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
