Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize
