Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
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