HIV tests are more positive than that guy
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
