and i looked up. we had an audience...
Best friends brother. Beat that.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
