I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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