turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
