i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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