Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
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