if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
My vagina is officially offended.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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