He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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