Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
