She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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