I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
