make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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